G is for Goon

Week G | Thursday | Tory Time: Lee ‘30p’ Anderson, Episode 1

It’s #DissectATory time. Because #TheyWorkForUs, but it’s all too easy for them to forget that while they’re rifling our pockets. There are so many who should be pinned down in one place like poisonous moths, I wasn’t sure where to go next, after doing Nigel Adams last week. Thank you to Steve Bray for saying to focus on the ‘red wall’: it’s Lee ‘30p’ Anderson.

When I first wrote about Lee on Twitter earlier this year, I nicknamed him ‘Anorak Anderson’ because of the wealth of photos of him so attired; see below. Of course, since then he’s made himself a scourge of the already-suffering, so 30p Lee it is.

Before I look at 30p Lee’s short but rancid MP history, I’ll tell you about the two people he most reminds me of.

1. My late Dad’s ex-copper neighbour: the Daily Fail in human form. Thinks women are “as much use as a pound shop cardboard copper” as police officers, because “they can’t see over the steering wheel.” Talked Dad into voting for Brexshit. Dad came to regret it, but oopsy too late. Leave means leave.

2. The director of a ‘kitchen company’ who charged me £2500 for mismatched bits of MDF to be stuck to my wall with actual Mastik by a lone man with whom I did not feel safe. Took him to Small Claims Court, won, he failed to pay. Went to his big Cardiff house not far from my flat, where he physically threatened me at 11am with a glass of whisky in his hand. Later that week, I had the ‘kitchen’ ripped out and dumped on his driveway. He sent me an angry letter in hilarious legalese [I was at the time working and finishing my PhD at Cardiff Law School]. I pointed out that after the court ruling, it was his. Scary and stupid.

Ah yes, so, on that note, Lee ‘30p’ Anderson MP …

Like Nigel Adams, 30p Lee’s from the area he ‘represents’: Ashfield and Eastwood. He started as a Labour councillor and Chief of Staff to a Labour MP before realising he’s 💯% natural raw Tory. Lovely when people discover themselves and follow their bliss.

Rather than examine his voting and financial record since becoming an MP in 2019 first, I’ll start with escándalos and performative red meat red wall red-faced DRAMAS GIRL. Because they are fully telenovela batshit cray.

💩 30p Lee boycotted the England football team for taking a knee. Because of course.

💩 He was up the Crime Minister’s arse, but then in the ‘Pork Pie Plot’ to oust him. 30p Lee’s loyal to no one but 30p Lee, it seems. On brand for a Tory, then.

💩 Says ‘woke’ a lot. Like it’s a bad thing.

Do none of these mooks have a dictionary?

💩 Can I just say? Lee’s just over a year younger than me. Rage is so very ageing.

💩 Lee studied Shipping Management and was a COAL MINER. Proper class traitor.

💩 Part of the reason he left Labour after many years is that they left him. He was suspended for allegedly dumping boulders to block access to a stopping place. He received a Community Protection Notice for that. So law-abiding, these Tories. Party of law and order and all that.

Also party of cosplay, led by the Crime Minister, Mr Bent.

💩 During his 2019 election campaign, there was a murder on a council estate in 30p Lee’s area. In response, he stated that ‘nuisance’ council tenants should work in the fields, living in tents, taking cold showers.

💩 There’s the episode of the 30p Lee Show you may remember. He was caught staging a door-knock encounter with a friend posing as a constituent stranger while being filmed by Channel 4 News. He said he was just making sure “somebody was in” until forced to apologise for FAKE NEWS. Every accusation a confession, #NeverForget

💩 I was a minute-ago-old when I learned that three Tory candidates were investigated for anti-semitism during the 2019 campaign. Guess who one was? Go on, you’ll never guess.

💩 30p Lee was then a member of a Facebook group which lent support to Ickle Tommeh Robinson and was ‘anti-Soros’.

💩 During the investigation, 30p Lee was challenged by the All-Party Parliamentary Group Against Anti-Semitism, as he’d co-signed a letter that included the phrase ‘Cultural Marxism.’ To The Telegraph. Which printed it. 💩

I feel weirdly nervous for this woman I don’t know at all.

💩 30p Lee voted against Plan B Covid restrictions, breaking the whip; also mandatory vaccinations for NHS staff. #CovidLovesLee 🦠❤️🦠

💩 In November, he told a female district councillor in his constituency to “stay out of big boy politics.” He was on the Women and Equalities Committee at the time. He subsequently departed from that committee, a move welcomed by some of its members. It’s frankly astonishing he was ever appointed to it. Perhaps someone thought it would be good for him. He said he left because it took up too much of his super-busy Wednesdays. Mm-hmm okay Jan. Members said he skipped most meetings; one said, “He clearly put himself forward to disrupt the committee.”

💩 Lee faced a party complaint after his 2018 Facebook comment was noticed: a photo of him staring at a canvasser’s chest captioned, “Out with some great knockers…’

I’m sure she loved this trip back in time to 1972.

There’s so much to say about 30p Lee that I had to split up this Tory Time Tale of woe. Episode 2 of the Goon show. Heeeeeere’s … Anorak Anderson! Still thinking about constituency knockers, apparently. 😑

Anorak

This takes a long time, but in the age of being bombarded with info and scandal so we can’t keep up, or put the pieces together, I feel it’s important to curate ‘conservative’ characters. If you find it to be a public service, you could contribute to a new protest outfit for me. The old one is covered in Tory tears.

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